Articles
written
for
UFO Review
Magazine
Web Mistress
Biography
and other
personal links
You can also
read my own
personal blog here
and my
contributions
to Women of Esoterica here
THE
LIBRAN GAME
It’s
four in the morning and the table lies bare,
The cigarette stubs fill the ashtray.
The coffee’s been drunk and the words are all gone,
Like the last final lines of a play.
The
game is now over, the rules were destroyed,
They changed when the players weren't looking.
Now what was his name, and what did he say?
The glance which he left her said nothing.
So
she lay down to sleep but his face still remained,
And she smiled to herself at the thought
Of the time they had spent while the world was asleep,
But the echo was still to be caught.
A
meeting of like minds, a mirror of souls,
Both lost behind walls, behind laughter.
Illusions, deceptions, the sparks of unreason;
And the pain buried deep was the spur.
In
the night you’re alone with the thoughts in your head.
And there’s nowhere to hide but in lying
To yourself, to your friends, to the world as it spins
’Til you’re trapped in your own self-deceiving.
You
can never admit you’ve been wrong, you’ve been beaten,
That the player was better than you.
So you twist and you turn and you laugh though you’re screaming,
’Cause there’s no other way to get through.
But
the Libran will play any game you can name,
They will smile, while they charm and deceive.
When the balance is down, then they’ll fight and survive,
At a price which they’ll die to achieve.
GUILT
I
know who you are,
And I know what you want,
Your mind is a book to be read,
And your soul is on fire
For a goal you can’t name,
Though you feel that it surely must be.
So you scream and you writhe,
But you’re coming alive,
And you can’t hide your soul’s light from me.
Awake
in the night
When you’d rather be dead,
Your eyes are alight with the flame.
Though the feeling is gone
And the wheel circles round,
As it spins your mind drops like a stone.
Let your heart have no dreams,
Let your head rule your schemes,
If you feel, you will have to atone.
I
know where you are
As I’ve been there before,
We’re fools that can never break out.
And we’re always alone,
In the midst of the crowd
We stand back so the others can’t see,
How we ache and we cry
And inside we ask why?
But we know that they can’t have the key.
So
we build high walls,
And we must play the game,
All options stay open and free.
Commitments are easy
When played for the fun,
And the conscience stays hidden and deep.
But the day will soon break
When you’re lying awake,
And the guilt keeps your mind from its sleep.
MEETING
His
mind touched hers,
And their souls reached out,
It was easy to meet half way.
They were lovers of sorts
’Til the passion was spent,
But the memory left its glow.
Words
then were easy,
Now it’s over and gone.
They met out of time, out of need;
To touch minds, to change souls,
To survive, to create,
In an unreal world, to stay free.
So
when they meet
It’s as strangers now,
Though they can’t hide the thoughts in their eyes.
They pretend not to care,
That they’d never been close,
But their glances say all that they know.
CHALLENGE
So
they met one more time,
Just by chance, not design,
And the magic was still to be found.
The chemistry bound them,
Charisma again,
And their feet never quite touched the ground.
Only
he made her laugh
When he crossed her path,
She thought of the life she’d regained.
But their ways lay apart,
He’d not touched her heart,
Though the fatal attraction remained.
He
had made her feel young,
With songs still to be sung,
But he couldn't quite reach her, he knew.
She was out of his league;
He thought he could read
All the signs, but he never got through.
It
was just one more feat,
One more challenge to meet;
Told he couldn't, he rose to the bait.
It comes right in the end,
Be willing to bend,
And the name of the game is to wait.
He’d
win if she let him,
And it wasn't a sin,
No temptation they must rise above.
For them, just the next game,
And neither to blame,
When they’d both never known how to love.
EXISTING
Now
I think I’ve lost it,
This feeling I disdained,
That I tried so hard to lose,
It no longer is sustained.
Gone while I stood and watched,
Bright lights lost their glitter,
The hand of fate has fallen,
Yes, the taste of love is bitter.
Life crawls on around me,
To the pulse of first and last,
The live, the dead, the existing,
The sentence of my past.
WHITE HORSES
White
horses, white horses,
The timing was crucial, the key;
The dream burned my psyche, his plea.
White horses, white horses,
In age he was young,
In experience old;
His eyes showed the pain
Of the walls he had built,
But there are no white horses for me.
White horses, white horses
I said, but you never may see
How the pieces can fall and break free.
White horses, white horses,
He dreamt of them now,
He was caught in his trap,
The game became real.
Spin your wheels and you’re lost,
On the road of lies, you are guilty.
White horses, white horses,
You see them in dreams, but maybe,
They’re not worth the candle for me.
FIVE SENSES
I
hear your voice when the world is still,
I see your eyes longing to kill,
I smell your perfume in my head,
I taste your kiss like a bitter pill,
I touch your soul with a living will,
Hold onto me while I’m drowning.
THE BOOK
To
the man who borrowed my book,
You’re a liar and a cheat and a crook.
You said you’d return it
When really you’d burned it.
No! You can’t get away with that look.
THE DREAM
They
dream the same dreams,
They scheme the same schemes;
She was older and wiser then he,
But they wanted what just couldn't be.
When
they met she would shake,
He would smile, eyes dilate;
They would speak, say hello, and then part,
For their friendship must not touch their hearts.
They
dream the same dreams,
They scheme the same schemes;
And their wavelengths are always the same,
With no need to be playing the game.
They
can run, they can hide,
They can see where it died;
But they can’t lose control, they can’t show
How their minds are at one, they just know.
They
dream the same dreams,
They scheme the same schemes;
And they only need gestures, not words
To convey all they’ve learnt and they’ve heard.
They
are partners in crime
To take life out of time;
They could live in a world of their own,
That the others would never call home.
They
dream the same dreams,
They scheme the same schemes;
For they know what is real and is true,
But they both have to lie to get through.
MORE THAN FRIENDS - LESS THAN LOVERS
October
flame,
A face among the crowd,
Fire burnt and died;
But the embers glowing white.
Footsteps which fall light,
On a road that’s going
Nowhere, a dead night.
More than friends,
But less than lovers.
Different
worlds,
They divide and turn away,
Bound only by illusion.
Most
people think we’re crazy,
Can’t see right from wrong;
We’re lying and just trying to hold on.
More than friends,
But less than lovers.
Fear
is the key,
And you can’t believe your senses,
It’s not my reality.
They don’t recall the dreaming
Of youthful hope that cries;
The laughter and the
Living out of lies.
More than friends,
But less than lovers.
You
catch my eye
As you walk me to the corner;
And we’re lost within a memory.
Words that can’t be spoken,
Chains that can’t be broken;
We’ll never know
How good it could have been.
More than friends,
But less than lovers.
And
friends stay on your mind,
And lovers break your heart.
DON’T
Don’t
classify me in your unreal world,
I’m a person, not an in-mate;
For there is nothing to fear but fear,
And there is nothing to love but hate.
Don’t
speak to me with that soft velvet voice,
I’m a woman, not a pure Eve;
For the words flow so smooth from your tongue,
And can lull whom you choose to deceive.
Don’t
promise me you will do what you won’t,
I’m a human, not a spirit;
For lies are easy when truth is hard,
And your actions won’t do you credit.
Don’t
touch me without knowing or feeling,
I’m a lady, not a statue;
For you might strike an echo in me,
And your aim should be real and true.
Don’t
look at me with those come-to-bed eyes,
I’m a sensitive soul, not rock;
For you are too young and I’m too old,
And you might turn the key in the lock.
MEET ME
Meet
me on the corner
At the crossroad of our lives;
Meet me by the firelight
As the ember burns and dies.
Meet
me by the roadside
Or the path along the way;
Meet me by the moonlight
Or the cold clear light of day.
Meet
me by the river
Of the tide that ebbs and flows;
Meet on the cliff-top
Where the wind of life still blows.
Meet
me in the morning
When the year is young and new;
Meet me in the evening
When the year is old and blue.
Meet
me in your dreaming
While the heart is sleeping sound;
Meet me love, just meet me,
’Til the thought goes underground.
OCTOBER PEOPLE
Two
October people
Who met along the way;
Seeking restoration
Of a balance gone astray.
Judgments
made and broken,
Decisions right and wrong,
Scales weighed with justice
For a cause without a song.
Walls
of steel and granite;
Sociopathic souls,
The great I am, I said,
And I care not for your goals.
But
thoughts we never show
For all we lose and gain;
Feelings that come easy
Should be treated with disdain.
Two
October people
Living for tomorrow;
Sharing the illusion
Of life without the sorrow.
If
we could be bothered
We could rule the world,
For we have the power,
But keep our banners furled.
Bound
by our convention,
Diamond hard ideal;
Not able to be sad
For the time we could not steal.
Just
read it in my eyes,
The thoughts I cannot hide,
For only you will know
How hard we’ve laughed and lied.
Two
October people,
Can’t but play the game
Of twisting lives and minds,
Then not take the Libran blame.
I DON’T BELIEVE
I
don’t believe in love,
I don’t believe in hate,
I don’t believe in you
And I don’t believe in fate.
Love
is just a word,
Hate is just a name,
You are just a dream,
And fate is just a game.
I
don’t believe in chance,
I don’t believe in fame,
I don’t believe in tears,
And I don’t believe in pain.
Chance
is just a date,
Fame is just a time,
Tears are just a waste,
And pain is just a crime.
I
don’t believe in death,
I don’t believe in strife,
I don’t believe in peace,
And I don’t believe in life.
Death
is just a past,
Strife is just a day,
Peace is just a theme,
And life is just a play.
TRUTH - OR THE LIBRAN LIE?
Standing
on the edge of time
Look back and see tomorrow,
Life is just a paradigm
Not worth the cost of sorrow.
I’m
still lost along the way
So don’t follow where I lead,
I thought I knew the lay,
But it doesn't meet the need.
My
friends just see romances,
The brittle smiling face,
The girls who jests and dances,
The laughing carapace.
I
speak but no-one’s hearing,
They won’t read between the lines,
Can’t see the mist that’s clearing,
Or interpret all the signs.
I
just play the game too well,
Can’t say what’s in my head,
All the truths I never tell,
And the me you never read.
So
touch not this tortured heart,
For it leaves the world behind,
As it plays the final part
In the mirror of your mind.
THE SLEEP-OUT
We
thought we’d help the homeless
And sleep in Aylmer Square,
So we got our cardboard boxes
And covered up our hair.
The
night was cold and stormy,
The rain and hail were wet,
But our doorway was quite roomy,
And we had to keep our bet.
The
bin-bag clown was dancing
And laughing in the rain,
But his anti-freeze was broken,
He won’t sleep out again!
Does
it rain in Cornwall?
He said, when he was asked
If she was real, or wearing well,
Or someone from his past?
I
met her in a Borstal,
Came the tart reply.
Oh, I think I mean a Hostel,
And no, the plant won’t die.
The
workers got quite tactile
While they tried to keep their pride;
And the humour became puerile
When we ended up inside.
With
endless cups of coffee,
Warmth, cigarettes and wine,
Each other, Denzil, Tammy,
We helped to pass the time.
Crude
songs, egg-white and water,
And other silly games,
We weren't lambs to the slaughter,
Just ex-St. Petroc names.
How
to con the DSS,
And how to cheat and lie,
And how to keep what we possess,
But no one cons this guy.
Yes,
we should have stayed at home,
They’d still have signed the form.
We’ll let them do it on their own
And rest where we are warm.
So
when we’re asked to help or care,
We’ll do it on our own,
For most of us have been there;
Next time we’ll all stay home.
THE GAME
Well
I played the game again,
All the cards they fell out right,
But the killer instinct's gone,
And I still can’t see the light.
The
faces they were different,
And the names they didn't ring;
The score went in my favour,
Victory, such an easy thing.
That
spark of mirth was missing,
With no need to read the cards,
No bluff and double bluffing,
Or eyes to speak in charades.
Memory
is strange it seems,
And our game wasn't poker;
You could laugh and always win,
I never played my joker.
It’s
not easy this time round,
But the rules remain the same,
So if I choose to break them,
It will be a different game.
THE PLANT
The
plant is still alive,
It’s grown another leaf,
It really shouldn't thrive,
Would have made a lovely wreath.
I
threatened it with doom,
And smothered it with hate,
So why it’s still in bloom
Is cause for a debate.
The
leaves are green, they shine,
A picture of good health,
As to the light they climb,
So I’ll approach with stealth.
It
isn't that I care,
But still I could have cried
To see it sitting there,
I’m convinced it should have died.
BROKEN BONDS
So
all the bonds are broken
And you are not a rock,
Nor are you an island,
Though each other we may mock.
The
songs are over and gone,
The heartaches they will die;
Lost like a grand mirage,
Sands of illusion, a lie.
We
were dead before our time,
But there was no reason,
For us a game, or a play,
Just another dark season.
Our
days of freedom and mirth,
They were not meant to be.
Stolen time from a life,
But so much we did not see.
Not
chosen paths we travel,
Nor mystic light of day,
But with chains of justice,
Our Libran souls must now pay.
SLEEP
Last
night I saw them,
Friends and enemies;
They haunted my dreams,
And ravaged my schemes.
The
thief was laughing,
While the dwarf stood by;
The bin-bag clown drank,
As the barmaid looked blank.
Black
devil dances,
Bridge-builder smiles,
Friendly face takes wing,
Darkness starts to sing.
I
wake and recall
This story of sleep;
The feeling re-caught,
Midwife to the thought.
But
shall I be there
If dream becomes real,
And does image stay
When seen from a play?
Time
says I must go,
The ferryman calls,
And tides all run deep
Seen only in sleep.
DREAM-WEAVERS
Come
dream-weavers and schemers,
The gatekeepers, deceivers;
Call the tune, the song-makers,
The dark callous heart breakers.
Wake
the minstrels and sleepers,
The sad souls and the weepers;
Poets, artists and writers,
Show the way you lamplighters.
Troubadours
of the dawning,
All you heralds of morning;
Raise the standard you’re crafting,
Make the mirage long lasting.
Cast
aside all the talkers,
Leave the players, nightwalkers;
Learn the lines, watch the speakers,
Banish all shadow-seekers.
See
the carers and sharers,
The news-bearers, self-darers;
Sorcerers for the winners,
Follow mystic myth-spinners.
All
the legends lie dying,
While the ghost of time’s crying;
And the melody vaunting,
Stays a memory haunting.
TREASON
The
faces fade and the souls lose touch,
The memory distinct pales and dies.
For minds and hearts which promised so much,
Dissolved in suspicion and lies.
The
pen flows on while the head is clear,
But I’ve lost that spark of unreason.
The flame burns low which was once held so dear,
The poems made now taste like treason.
Words
fill the page, but the sense is lost,
And empty rhymes have no story.
A grand delusion counts not the cost,
Times remembered and flown hold no glory.
Strike
out the past names; they’ve no meaning,
Lovers, jokers and clowns have gone,
Save only in a night’s dreaming.
It’s the ghosts and the fool lingers on.
All
poetry is copyright of the Web Mistress ©
Click here for Volume 2
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